December 22nd

"Crush"

By

Succubyss

When was the last time you had a crush on someone? No, really. A good, hard crush? Someone out there in the big, bad world that you anticipate seeing, talking to, flirting with a little bit…

A crush can be good, clean fun. It doesn’t have to turn into a relationship. Usually, it’s better if it doesn’t. Why would you want to ruin a perfectly fine crush by developing it?

Do you look forward to seeing that hot chick at Dunkin’ Donuts who always remembers to put extra cream in your coffee and knows your name? Do you think, “Yeah, she wants me!” every time you pull away from the drive-thru? Do you sometimes think about asking her out, even tho’ you’re married?  That’s a crush.

And you get to look forward to see her every time you go to that Dunkin’ Donuts. If you took it any further, you’d have to find out that she’s a loony-bin, certifiable, gelus freak who would cut your nuts off if she was your wife and you talked to another barista. But, thankfully, you can just crush on her  in the privacy of your heart instead. And it also brightens up both your days, without the nasty blood-letting that would inevitably follow any relationship you could have explored with the crazy bitch.

Or how about the guy at Home Depot? He’s always there when you run in for a couple of screws or other hardware. Usually working near the front entrance, by the light bulbs. He nods hello and smiles as you wrestle your cart out. You can point at something in the sale paper and he takes you right to it. He asks about your project while he hooks a sexy thumb into his apron, which makes you glance down and notice how nicely those faded jeans cover his tight ass. 

Don’t you look forward to that? You don’t want to go out with him and discover that he drinks Rollling Rock until he can’t walk, likes the Green Bay Packers and expects his little woman to rub his calloused feet every night.

Yep. A good, hard crush for the holidays.

I’m off to Home Depot…