December 18th

"Stupid Sonsabitches"

By

OD

OK, Christmas season is in full swing now and 5 days a week I hear some stupid shit like, "Where are your Super Fantastic Ab Machines?", to which I reply; "They went on clearance two weeks ago." Then, cue the third degree because we are now out of stock, and no, we will not be getting anymore in. God, how I wish I could go the fuck off on these people. If it was so goddamned important to have one of whatever it is we are now out of, why in the fuck didn't you buy one when we had it? They only sat in the store for 5 fucking months without selling much. Now you expect me to find one in a different store for you? Fuck off.

I am selling ammunition faster than I can stock it, gun sales are through the roof. Thanks to electronic hunting and fishing license sales, it takes me only 5 minutes to write out a license now, instead of 2 minutes by hand, as before. Anyway, my store will happily LOSE money to get you a license, and get you shopping.

Yeah, though you verily bitch, whine, and moan - your pleas still fall on deaf ears. Retailers are in the business to make money, and I have no sympathy because you are a cheapskate motherfucker. I just put tires on my car, the best I could afford. Goodyear Assurance Triple Treds, kick ass tire. I suggest you try them sometime. Oh, wait a minute, you are the schmuck driving the $50,000 car with the $40 each shit tires on it. You make more money than I do, yet I am willing to spend more of my hard earned cash than you are to spend yours. You fucking make me sick.

You bitch about the prices of everything we sell, even though most of it is just cheap ass junk. I pay the price myself and don't fucking worry about it. You complain about the service… Well, sorry our sales are down because your stingy self won't buy anything at full price and we had to cut hours for everybody. You interrupt me while I am trying to help another customer and wonder why my answer to you is curt and sharp, all the while I am as polite and nice as can be to my FIRST customer.

Common sense and courtesy motherfucker, learn what it is. You flock to the store in the evenings, like a pack of lemmings on their march to death, and are pissed because it takes forever to check out. Here is a helpful hint: IF THE PARKING LOT IS FULL, TRY COMING BACK LATER, YOU DIMWITTED NUMBSKULL! ALL OF THOSE CARS DO NOT BELONG TO EMPLOYEES.

I suggest 2 AM. The store is usually pretty empty by then.

Stupid Sonsabitches, all of you.