December 6th

Stoner's Special HOLIDAY BROWNIES

By

Crouching Stoner

The holidays are just around the corner, and for most people this means spending time with your family. Not only do you have to go broke, buying gifts for people you can’t stand (like your Creepy Uncle whose hugs always last too long and whose kisses are always just this side of too wet), you’re probably going to be expected to bring some kind of dish to the festivities as well.

Now, you can go ahead and bring another congealed platter of Chili Cheese Dip, or waste two nights of your life decorating those faggoty little Christmas Cookies if you’re into it. Personally, I’ve got other shit to do. I can’t think of a better reason to cop a buzz than spending time with your family, so I kill two birds with one stone- I bring Pot Brownies.

Of course I don’t tell anyone what the special ingredient is. I just laugh my ass off when my Aunt Ida starts humping the Christmas tree and when my mom starts hiding from the FBI underneath her bed. ‘Tis the season to get fucked up, folks.

You will need:

An 8"x8" square baking pan

A Pyrex measuring cup

One box of Betty Crocker brownie mix

A small pan and a wooden spoon

A "gold" mesh coffee filter (i.e. Hamilton Beach)

One bottle of cooking oil (NOT olive oil)

2 eggs

3 tblsp water

At least 5 grams of ground marijuana,

if not more - it depends on the quality.

1.  Measure out ½ cup of cooking oil and pour into saucepan. Heat at MEDIUM or MEDIUM HIGH for one minute.

2.  Add ganja and cook while stirring often for about 20 - 25 minutes. (Cooking the ganja at the right temperature is of the utmost importance. Using too low of a temperature will not extract all of the THC, and too high of a temperature will cause the oil to boil and burn. Since all burners are different, use your best judgment.)

3.  Once the oil has turned a dark brown/coffee color, remove from heat and  cool.

4.  Set the gold filter on top of the measuring cup and pour oil into cup, straining out the actual pieces of ganja. (This not only prevents your family from figuring out what’s really going on, but at this point, you’ve already cooked out the good stuff, so why eat a bunch of nasty chopped grass if you don’t have to?)

5. Add additional cooking oil if needed to meet recipe requirements.

6. Dump brownie mix into mixing bowl.

7. Add eggs, water, oil, and mix well.

8. Pour into greased baking pan.

9. Bake for 50 - 55 min. in preheated oven at 325 degrees.

Now all you’ve got to do is cut, serve, partake, and watch the hilarity ensue.