By
Carman
Dead Rebel Of The Week
~ King Koopa ~

King Koopa came from humble beginnings in the Mushroom Kingdom. Born Bowser Koopa, the son of a crocodile and a turtle, he was always shunned as a child. Under the rule of the tyrannical Princess Toadstool, half-breeds like him were locked away in dungeons. This includes the turtle duck people, who later called themselves Koopas Troopas, and what would be called the goombas.... or Mexicans, if you are racist like me.

While in captivity in these dungeons, Bowser conditioned his body and mind for revolution.

Leading by example, he inspired others to join his crusade to crush the Toadstool Kingdom and establish THE PEOPLE’S RULE on the land. When the time was right he kidnapped the Princess and her mage, a mushroom man named Toad, and took them to his lair. Unbeknownst to him, she had secret lovers, two Italian plumbers named Mario and Luigi. These plumbers would bring about the downfall of the revolution.
Koopa established his base in the farthest regions of the kingdom’s dungeons, 32 miles from the point of entry in any direction. It may not seem like much, but he was determined to get the Princess to see his way without ANY interference. She told him of the plumbers and how they would save her. Koopa, being a... er... thing, of high intelligence, decided to talk things out with them. If that did not work, he would then kill them. But before he could even get a word out, he burped a fire ball, and Mario took it as a sign of war, and it was ON!
Mario and Luigi chased Koopa back to his lair and saved the princess, but not for long. Once Bowser had regrouped, he and a band of underlings that called themselves “The Sons of Koopa”, and Koopa Troopa’s  stormed the neighboring kingdom and hired a professional by the name of Wario to get Toadstool back again. THIS time, however, things would be a lot different!

Bowser was a man of peace, but he would not run from a war. With Princess Toadstool calling for the genocide of all Reptilian-like races, he enlisted the help of The Hammer Brothers, a fascist skinhead organization bent on the elimination of the mushroom people, whom they felt control the finances of every land between Mushroom Kingdom to the outskirts of Hyrule. 

These Hammer Brothers, along with the Koopa Troopas and the Sons of Koopa, took over the 8 regions of Mushroom Land, a vast expanse of wasteland and villages spread between Hyrule and Mushroom Kingdom, and proclaimed Bowser their King. With a kingdom, the Princess, and an Army, it was time for revenge upon Toadstool and her people.
You have probably heard of the Mushroom Person holocaust. 6,000,000 had their heads chopped off, deep-fried and then eaten by the Sons of Koopa. All sympathizers were either executed or forced into hiding. All but TWO!

Koopa had forgotten about Mario and his brother, Luigi, and their love for the Princess. Since their last encounter, they had mastered the art of flight, invincibility, and deep sea diving. There was no way of stopping these two. Troopa after troopa, they destroyed, and their power grew with every area of Bowser’s new kingdom they cleared. When they finally made it to Bowser’s lair, he was Furious, and in his haste, he lost his cool. Jumping after these plumbers with supernatural-like dexterity, Mario used it against him, and in the end, King Koopa destroyed himself by falling into a pit of molten Lava. But Bowser would have the last laugh.

Princess Toadstool returned to her land to find it in shambles. Seeing this, she broke down. Her doctor said it was post-traumatic stress syndrome. Mario and Luigi decided that they should put her away in a hospital while they travel the land, repairing the damage and crushing ANY resistance to the Toadstool throne.

In the end, Bowser Koopa was remembered as a tyrant to some, and a revolutionary to others. In closing, I would like you to read what Bowser said to his troops before the Holocaust:

“You must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was a child. Seems a thousand centuries ago. The Mushroom Men came into the dungeons to inoculate the children. They left the camp afterwards, and later, an old man came running to my father. He was crying. We went back there to his dungeon and they had come and hacked off every non-inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. These were Mushroom Men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.”