Jogging With a Spoon - 4
featuring The Weekly Zombie Report
I went out on Halloween dressed up like King Diamond, but in preppy clothes. I thought it was brilliant, and a drunken Mexican told me, in Spanish, “Oh-blah Diablo ex morte” or something like that. I think I got cussed but decided to smile and nod instead. The Lady went as Rasistlin Majere and a Hindu dude recognized her. Other than that the night sucked. I saw TWO other people that put thought into their costumes. One was a Sith Lord, and the other was a black girl dressed as a Zombie Bride. I knew it was not a real Zombie because she was not trying to attack people. I put my guard up, just in case.
Other than that, I saw a few slutty nurses, a few slutty nuns, a few slutty cops, a few studly cops, a fat black dude dressed as a baby, a few slutty teachers, a few slutty Barbie dolls, a few slutty sluts. I can go on, but I won’t. I am disappointed though, because I thought people actually liked to dress up and to put thought into their Halloween outfits.
Some girls (not sluts) wanted to take a picture with me and The Lady. They said they were from Wyoming, so The Lady says “Do they not have pictures in Wyoming?” God I love her.
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I have been a slack-ass on my painting. I know I should get on it, and I know what I want to paint, but I just keep putting it off, trying to find other stuff to do. I don’t know what it is, but every time I produce something, I will look for a reason to throw away the canvas. I guess I am my own worst critic. Fuck it, I think I will get on it. After I clean the house. And my work area. I also need to get a new tire on the Carman mobile. But after that...
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I have also been plagued by nightmares the last few weeks. I have been dreading going to sleep. Perhaps it is something I am eating, but they have been sort of linear. For some reason I am the last moral person on the planet, while the rest of the world has sunk to new lows in order to gain materialism and fame. A part of me says this is the truth, and I need to fortify myself against what my deity of choice would undoubtedly claim as unclean, but the other part of me says that I should fortify myself against the others because I am unclean and not welcome in a society where promiscuity and materialism are praised and given accolades. But yet ANOTHER part of me says that I must watch this society crumble, and laugh while I am the last clean person and die at peace. But I will never do any of it. If I know myself, and I do, I will end up still slaving away at the grind. FUCK!
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I don’t know if this counts as a blog, I will have to consult with the owner of the site. I would think that it does not, because first off, I don’t type in ones and threes, like “OMG!!11ONE! HIM WAS SOOO K3WL!11!". Another thing I have noticed about blogs is that they fish for sympathy. So I guess this wouldn’t count. I see this more like a public service, because if people were not privy to the way I think, their lives would be normal. Just doing my part, kids.
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THIS WEEK’S ZOMBIE REPORT
Just a few weeks ago, we had an “E-coli” outbreak in these states.
Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Nebraska, New Mexico, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.
I figured that the outbreak would be over, but I was mistaken. Something as large as a level II cannot be swept under the carpet in that amount of time. Salmonella poisoning is what the mainstream media is calling it, and the CDC says it is over, but I disagree. Take a look at the new states in this “Salmonella poisoning” outbreak:
Arkansas, Connecticut, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, North Carolina, New Hampshire, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Virginia, Vermont and Wisconsin
If you are in ANY of the states underlined, I suggest fortifying yourself NOW! If you are in a state between two of the states, or in the vicinity, like Connecticut and Vermont, I am willing to bet a new “food poisoning” outbreak will happen in the following weeks.
Remember, aim for the head, destroy the brain, and loved ones who are infected are no longer loved ones. You have to learn to let things go. While fleeing, remember to only carry essentials. You do not need your X-Box or your laptop. You need food and weapons; things to survive. Get some MREs and an axe, and MOVE!
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Carman, out.
