Jogging With a Spoon - 2
featuring The Weekly Zombie Report
I tried signing up on Stumbleupon.com, because it seems the rest of the staff signed up months ago. It turns out that some assknuckle decided to be cute and take my screen name. That’s ok, I used it anyway, but put 666 on the end to make it cooler. But I can’t seem to get the fucking thing to work. Fuck it, I am deleting it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Speaking of the rest of the staff. We have a poll on the main page that is going to be used for something the all knowing owner won’t tell us about. The rest of the staff feels that the person with the least amount of votes probably gets booted off the page. I think the person with the least amount of votes STAYS on the site, and the one with the most gets voted off the island. We wouldn’t be rebels if we worked normally now, would we? I guess we are all responsible for pimping our shit and getting hits, but I never have. The only thing I have done is to go into an AOL chat room, spam a little bit, and leave a link to my page. Call me a leech.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
On Sunday, I decided I would venture to Rando’s Home Cooking. It has turned into a mexican dive that cooks food! I was fucking hungry. I walked in and saw TAMALE! On the white board, so I order one. “No tamale today,” the dwarf Mexican woman said. “How much for a taco?” I ask. “Two dollars for one taco.” I can feel beady brown eyes on me from all corners. Instead of committing a hate crime and using the defense of protecting my country, I tell her “That taco better be as big as my car.” She glares at me and I leave. Bitch.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Myspace sucks: http://www.myspace.com/114242218
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Weekly Zombie Report
The zombie report for this week is good. The outbreak I reported last week seems to have been contained, but authorities still do not know the cause of the outbreak. What I believe is that a migrant worker from south of the boarder was infected by a scratch, and it then took a week for the virus to take hold. This is not un common, as in most cases the infected do not realize the grievance of the situation until death.
Here are the symptoms of “Zombiehood” as I call it: headache, fever, chills and other flu-like symptoms.
In a matter of hours or days, the other late stage symptoms can appear: slow pulse, shallow breathing and then sudden death / coma. The coma lasts only between four and six hours.
After that, reanimation!
Reanimation is no laughing matter. There is a matter of debate on what constitutes a Zombie. Does a Vampire count? These questions I will leave to the philosophers and free thinkers, But I can tell you that I know a ghoul when I see one.
The outbreak MAY be secure for right now. I am not in some of the infected states, which were: Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maryland, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Nebraska, New Mexico, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming.
Nona pointed out that I did not list the states in the last update. Of course I cannot watch everyone's back, but I see her point.
If you have a Zombie Sighting or a Zombie Update I must know about, you can reach me on the message boards located HERE.
It is a great way to move info across great distances. We all have to sleep with one eye open!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Carman out.
