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Welcome to my utmost random thoughts on random shit that really doesn't matter much.
This is where my mind takes a dump.
~ Sticks, Stones and Funnybones ~
Part 6 - The Schools
The Schools
Watching the news this morning, Bay News 9 or some shit, I caught a little piece on how American children are being helped in problem subjects after school over the phone by tutors in India. India! Turns out their phone service is cheaper and that they are better than the tutors we have here on Home Turf.
That was not the most frightening part though. The WHO (World Health Organization – an independent international group) has established that the educational level of a 9th grade American kid is that of the 5th grader in India and that of the average European 6th grader. All subjects were considered, including English in those countries where it is a second language option. Kids in Sweden had better English grammar in 6th grade than their American counterparts.
How fucking scary is that? The sad thing is that I believe it. My kid’s school has more art, music, PE and “free time” than I ever had in fucking kindergarten. What are they, the next losing bunch in the first round of American Idol five years from now? Then the teachers panic the last three weeks of each semester, as the state mandated performance tests get close, and they scramble to their defenses and try to cram in American Constitution, Fractions and Physics in these stupid kids’ heads in no time at all.
Yes, I said stupid.
Kids today are way fucking stupider than we ever were. Even stupider than Slow Moe who flunked Summer School. That’s because they belong to the Instant Gratification Generation. Video games and MTV gave them ADD to the tenth power, and since we, the parents, are a bunch of John Benders, Molly Ringwalds and Patrick Batemans we don’t give a fuck. We were too busy being spoiled rotten in the 80’s to lay the foundation for the next generation. Kids today have everything right at their fingertips; computers, chatting, games and mp3s. They don’t have to ride their bikes across town to check out the new Saxon album in Bobby’s basement. They download the top 40 from iTunes instead. They don’t even have to establish a personal taste in music anymore – the labels do that for them and serve it up on a silver platter, ready for consumption. Today’s kids don’t have to work all summer long to be able to afford those new hockey skates. They play NHL06 on the Play Station instead.
Jaded, fat and stupid – that’s the new generation of America and the civilized part of Europe for you. That is why China, India and Japan will take over the world in 20 years. Mark my words. They don’t play that lazy shit.
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The Dad
A dad in Sweden was arrested last Monday for attempting to exact vengeance upon the guy who supposedly raped his seven year old daughter. The father saw the suspect, who had just been released on bail, walking the streets of Stockholm like he had the right. The father ran into a hardware store around the corner, bought a crowbar and a huge knife, and charged after the guy. The rapist fled into a café where he was cornered by the furious father. Unfortunately, police had already been dispatched and the dad was disarmed and arrested. He told the police that he was going to bash the guy’s skull in “a little” and then use the knife to “cut off his fucking dick”. He was most upset with the police for not letting him at the guy.
Me too.
Now this stand-up guy is in jail and the rapist walks free. I said it before and I’ll say it again: violence is only a solution if you don’t get caught. Smacking somebody in the face in an open street is about as dumb as selling coke to a police man – you will get nailed.
The Italians know the deal: revenge is a dish best served cold.
Take your time, stew on it, let it infest your soul and rot your whole world until it is all you can think of. Then stalk the guy, map him out and strike when he least suspects it in the most remote of locations. Make sure he understands that each pint of blood he coughs up, each shit he has to take through a bag on his stomach and each Braille letter his one remaining finger can trace for the next year or so is because of what he did to your daughter.
Don’t forget. Don’t forgive. The other cheek is for pussies with no kids.
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The Necro Pope
An Italian commission has, after more than 20 years of criminal investigation and endless puzzling of underground intelligence, finally established that the assassination attempt on Pope John Paul II in 1981 was carried out on the orders of Soviet President Leonard Brezjnev, through the Soviet Military Intelligence organ, GRU.
Apparently old Brez figured the pope was a threat to Communism.
That’s funny. The Pope was a sweet little gnome who couldn’t threaten die hard Catholics with Hell enough for them to live by the Ten Commandments for even ten minutes, but he was gonna tip the Big Red Machine over like it was a cow at a frat party?
Maybe we never gave the funny little dude enough credit?
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The Anti-MILF
Britney Spears looks like a fucking white trash slob these days. Seriously. Usually I am all for the Monday Morning Bed Head “fuck me with my sweat pants around my ankles” look, but she seriously doesn’t do it for me anymore. Fucking Fed-X ruined her for all other men, AND he is cleaning out her bank accounts. Apparently he blew $7,000,000 of the family fortune in the last three months – with his CD recording, the cars and the trips to Vegas. Family fortune… How much did he contribute with? $37? “Here, Brit, put this in the vault with the other money.”
Fed-X… He is such a fucking… wait… hold on a minute… he’s a fucking genius!
Who would have thunk it?
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The Hail Mary
Domino’s Pizza founder and multi-billionaire Tom Monaghan is building his own town in Florida, Ave Maria, and it’s going to be his little vision of Heaven – literally. Monaghan is an extremely conservative Catholic, and after having founded Catholic colleges, schools and daycares he now decided to go full monty on society and just make his own little town. Where? In Florida of course. He coughed up the initial $400 million to get the project started and already people and companies are lining up to be a part of this. The whole community will be steeped in “Catholic Christian values” and that will also apply to what is sold, and how, in the stores. Contraceptions will not be prescribed by the local clinic and they will also not be sold in the local pharmacy. That is just the beginning of what will go and what won’t in Ave Maria. Politicians and opposition in Florida want to have a say so about whether this is legal under federal and state laws, and are “investigating so constitutional rights are not abridged or hampered”.
OK, see I don’t have a problem with this. Fuckheads of the world, unite! It’s really not any different to people of the same background seeking each other out in the cities, forming communities within the community.
The Amish have their fucking towns, the Blacks have Harlem and the Jews have Israel. Why not conservative Catholics? Where would you rather have them? Next to you? You want this Monaghan guy to run for School Board President in your county?
Didn’t think so.
Keep all the fuckheads segregated and locked away with their own delusions of grandeur and fucked up perception of reality. They’re happy, I’m happy… What’s the big deal?
And if the state politicians are concerned about civil rights being fucked with, then go check out the way freedom of speech and freedom of religion are being executed in other religious communities in America. You think the Muslims are all up in democracy’s shit, treating their women like queens just because it says “USA” on their green card? Fuck no. They do what they do, regardless, abridging shit left and right. Only problem is that if you go after them, everybody will cry “no fair” and there will be billion dollar law suits for discriminating against a minority. Monaghan is a fuckhead, but he’s a white rich fuckhead. He is not a minority and can thus be nipped in the bud before he goes all crazy with his freedom of religion and freedom of speech. It’s an upside down world, kids.
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The Kids
Two deadly school bus accidents in two fucking days here in Tampa. And you wonder why I am not letting my kid take the bus to school by herself?
I don’t get it anyway…
Florida is the nation’s capital state for child abductions and child abuse, and still I see these 6 and 7 year old kids, in the wee hours of morning, all alone at the bus stops without a parent in sight. If I was a pedophile fuckhead I would be in fucking heaven here. You could snatch any number of kids in no time at all and be halfway to the mountains by the time anybody figured it out. See, the funniest thing is this - If your kid is missing in class, the school will call you in the afternoon around 1:30 to let you know that your child missed today’s classes due to absence. Let’s see… if she was home sick chances are that I already fucking know, right? And if she was kidnapped at the bus stop in the morning by a psychopath fuckhead, you are only letting me know NOW, half a day later, giving the pedophile sicko a 6 hour head start? We’re not talking 15 year old class-cutters here - we’re talking 1st and 2nd graders too! Where the fuck would they be, if not in home or in school?
Florida. The Fuckhead State.
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