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The Presidential Rat Race
A guide to this travesty on politics


It’s that time of year again. Or, rather, ‘tis the season for lies, smiles and lullabies. The Presidential Race is on, and never before have we faced such a plethora of lesser evils. Gone are the days of clear cut choices and black and white. There is no good vs. evil, no matter your political affiliation, and there is no obvious fodder for the night time show host cannons to monologue into ridicule. I find this quite ironic as we for the first time have a Three Man Run for the Presidency that now includes a black man, a stern woman and an old white Republican. Couldn’t be any more diverse of a bunch, could they?

Wrong.

In these days of Political Correctness and wishy-washy leadership maybe it is a true reflection of modern America that we are about to elect from some of the greyest, most bland vanilla leaders this country has ever seen. Instead of listening to what these people stand for, we are voting for them due to stereotypical notions of what they represent to us based on who they are, rather than what they say.

We, as a country, are telling ourselves that, by God, we are ready for a black or a female President. We have come a long way and we want to show the world that we are ready to take that final step into brotherly love and trans-gender equality. Right? We are such a progressive nation, and nothing would show that in a clearer light than electing any of these two Democrat runners into the Oval Office. And for the Republicans, they have a good old boy – a white older gentleman with shiny teeth – to carry the torch of their ideas into a new and brighter future for America.

I think we are getting carried away here.

All of these three candidates combined are not worthy of a Mayoral position in the backwaters of Missouri.

In our desperation to seem like we are ready for change, we have done so at the expense of what this nation most needs right now: a true uncompromising leader.

The economy is going down faster than a shit house in a mudslide, our grandparents are eating cat food to afford medicine, the southern borders are wide open and we are losing the war in the Middle East. This is not the time for a popularity contest based on our guilty sub-conscience. This is the time to get the Democrat or Republican equivalent of Reagan into office. Somebody who will enforce his ideas with an iron hand and won’t take no for an answer.

I know a lot of people think Hilary Clinton represents this line of thinking, but she doesn’t. First of all, all you people who thinks she is a woman and therefore should get your votes are all wrong. She is a man in woman’s clothing, born and raised in a Man’s Political World, conformed to think, act, talk and walk like a man. Not a very good man, unfortunately. Are you so naïve you think that just because she bleeds once a month she will add a more female touch to this country’s politics? I have no problems with a woman President, but then it should be because there is a POINT to electing her: A strong woman with original ideas who is not afraid to use her female strengths to lay out a whole new agenda for America, based on a point of view we haven’t seen in Washington before. I would be the first to cast my vote for that elusive Washington Amazon at the ballots. But not for Hillary. Her political agenda is a bland stew of loose Democrat concepts that have gotten us nowhere in the past, mixed up with promises she can’t keep or afford. Sure, I want free healthcare, free education and a crime free America – who doesn’t? - but while we’re at it, I want a green leopard kitten and a French Maid too. All that is just a dream until you can figure out how to finance it. Our Social Security treasure chest will be depleted before long and our ever increasing population of border-hopping Mexicans is not paying taxes anyway. Maybe Hillary is hoping that a whole generation of food stamp licking elders will die out from starvation so we don’t have to shell out all those Social Security checks each month? Hey, rat poison in the Alpo works too, I hear.

Throughout her career Hillary has been the biggest turn coat in politics. Always voting with the popular decisions, without ever putting an original idea in the hat for others to vote on. That way she can claim she had nothing to do with it when the wind turns again, and still toast the victory champagne when the decisions go her way.

On the few votes where she went against her party, especially the ideas that US spy agencies should have even further expanded powers to eavesdrop on and interrogate foreign and domestic terrorist suspects without a court order and also the tax breaks for oil companies to keep gas prices down, I am dying to see if she is actually interested in  presenting some bill to close down Guantanamo Bay, disband the Patriot Act and put a price cap on gas. Of course she won’t. That would make way too many waves, and God knows Hillary is all about just coasting on the one wave of minimal controversy, just to barely edge into the White House. Instead she is planning to have American oil companies fund a $50 billion Strategic Energy Fund to investigate alternative sources of fuel (I can see how oil companies are cart wheeling at the thought) and National Security is not even one of her official “11 Issues”. Coward. Is that the kind of President we want? A person who says nothing, pushes the same button everybody else pushes, and then doesn’t have the guts to campaign on the ideas where her opinion in fact did differ from the Washington consensus?

The fact that her whole official campaign website is presented in the third person, stating “she” instead of “I”, speaks volumes in my opinion.

Anybody can promise what she promises, but very few could enforce those promises. Hillary is not a Reagan in skirts or a Thatcher in pants. With her, “I have a dream” stays like that… just a dream. She’s just another wishy-washy Democrat who dreams big and acts small, and who would spend her entire Presidency blaming the previous Government for her own inabilities to fix America.

Then we have Old Boy McCain on the other side of the fence. But is it really the other side? For a Republican he seems very un-Republican in some of the ideas he champions the most. Or, at least, in the ideas that sticks out the most and perhaps should be scrutinized a little closer.

The biggest sore thumb is his take on the immigration issue. In true Washington style he talks about repairing our broken borders and getting the situation under control, by working closely with Mexican and Latin American countries and by working hard to make America recognize “pro-growth policies” and a “flexible labor market”. What he fails to actually ever say flat out is that he intends to do this by granting all America’s illegal immigrants, in effect, an amnesty and provide them with the proper employment authorizations. He calls it a “temporary work visa”, but what it also does is granting the holder residential legal status. This means that, overnight, our population of dependants will increase by a bare minimum of 10,000,000 poor people. Sen. McCain childishly believes that doing so would boost the American economy and inject some well-needed fuel into the job market. What he fails to realize is that Joe Schmoe doesn’t want to mow lawns, baby-sit kids or clean cars. He wants to be a web designer. What happens when all our illegal Mexicans, as one, realize that the shackles are off and that they don’t have to trim hedges, clean kitchens or paint fences anymore? The result will be that all of a sudden our already almost depleted Social Security account will be overdrawn by disgruntled Mexicans (sorry, neo-Americans) who are tired of working for $2/hour and now instead have a right to not work anymore, and be compensated for it. Uncomfortable truth as it is, the underground labor market is already boosting America by doing all those odd jobs we are prepared to pay a reasonably minimal fee to have done. The money is being paid out to hard working immigrants with no legal status whatsoever who strive to keep their noses clean and who spend all their money on keeping their families alive, putting some good money back into American retail. And they can’t take advantage of our health care and other social benefits without legal status either, so right now we already have a better immigrational situation than the one McCain has in store for us.

Of course, my own solution would be to round up everybody who looks slightly Hispanic and ship them back to Cuba or Mexico and then make our own damn kids mow the lawn for free, but that’s just me. I am not the one running for President here. Yet.

Then, of course, in true old school predictable redneck fashion he is representing some die hard fundamental Republican ideas that would make Charlton Heston look like Mother Theresa. McCain strongly opposes any sort of restriction to the second amendment, including weapons manufacturer liabilities, bans of assault weapons, higher capacity magazines and armor piercing ammunition. He also strongly opposes the much debated waiting period from when a person applies to buy a gun to when that person is approved. Any psychotic nut has the right to buy an M-16 loaded up with Cop Killers at a moment’s notion. Nothing says “freedom” like getting blown to pieces at the age of eleven in your school cafeteria by a depressed teenage cutter who “walks alone”. With all his liberal gun laws I think it’s funny how I can’t find anything in all of McCain’s speeches and writings on what he plans to do about the rise of crime in Ghetto America. Maybe he feels that by arming the gangs they will eradicate each other? Let’s just hope they don’t eradicate the rest of us first. My little handgun for home and hearth protection stands a puny chance against fully armed gangs, sorry, “militias”, that can now freely and lawfully roam the neighborhoods. If a foreign power comes calling to make us a colony under supreme rule again, we can always have the Bloods and the Crips do all the fighting, right? Isn’t that the spirit of the amendment? Maybe I missed something? Under this line of thinking, America is just another Columbine waiting to happen. Our public schools have lockdown drills and “Hit the Floor” practices to be prepared for the worst case scenario of crazy gunmen invading the grounds. When I was a kid we had a fire drill once a year that nobody cared about. Just sayin…

McCain also wants to overturn Roe vs. Wade and have each individual state pass their own abortion laws instead. Sucks being a woman in Utah if he gets into power, huh? Get your coat hangers, rags and something to bite down hard on ready, peeps. The Dark Ages are a-coming. Does being Republican always have to be so backwards? These cheating unscrupulous bastards that run for leadership of our country have no morals, no ethics and no respect for you and me, yet we should listen to them preaching to us like we were still in the fucking Bronze Age? Give me a break.

Reading McCain’s political agenda we learn that social reforms, although necessary, can wait (for what?) and that he will “let the families decide where they want to put their health and education dollars”. Basically, saying that you get what you can afford on your pay, and that’s it. Tough luck, chumps. You make no money, you get nothing. Fair Republican mathematics.

Although, I think a Republican president is always the way to go when times are tough, I don’t think McCain is the man for the job. He is way too conservative on the typical Republican 18th century issues, and not hard enough on the social reforms we need to make to progress as a nation. To so stubbornly promote a literal second amendment, for instance, you first have to lay the ground work for a society that is mature enough for it, even if that means leading them screaming and sobbing into the light.

Giuliani was a much better Republican alternative as he worked his issues from the bottom up. Before he took over New York you would be crazy to walk anywhere on Manhattan after midnight without an armed escort, tripping on piles of garbage and being accosted by hookers and drug dealers as you did so. People bitched and moaned when his NYC clean-up process started. Homeless people were re-distributed to new shelters outside the city, jaywalkers were fined daily and the whole Times Square sex industry with all its shady shops and clientele was effectively shut down. Nobody liked it at first, but being the mayor of New York requires you to lead with an iron hand and to know the score. At the end of Giuliani’s term you didn’t think twice to bring your family to a Broadway show on a Saturday night and there wasn’t a single New Yorker who didn’t appreciate how he had transformed the city from a crime-ridden cess pool into a vibrant and healthy World Metropolis. Except for maybe the Five Families who he indicted most figure heads of during the Rico trials. Ballsy. He showed great progressive leadership throughout his term and also amazing compassion and resilience during 9/11, while never wavering on political issues. A hard man who knows to set all the greater purpose priorities straight before throwing loose opinions on this and that into the mix for the sake of popularity. 

To me, in contrast, McCain is a delusional cowboy striving to throw us back into the Old Days, where women cooked by the stove and popped out babies while the men were out a-hunting. America deserves a more progressive visionary to break us into a new century, but still someone who doesn’t compromise and doesn’t care what it takes to get there.

But, since I think a Democrat will win this year, maybe it’s best not to “waste” Giuliani’s candidacy on a lost cause. Hopefully he will run again in 2012.

So, that leaves us with Mr. Barak Hussein Obama. The token nigger in the bunch. Yes, I use that word because I know it upsets you, dear reader. Did you choke on your apple pie? Too bad, because if you want to speak about racism, then, by all means, let’s. After all, “Hillary ain’t never had no man call her a niggah!”, right? These are the wise words of Obama’s spiritual mentor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, the head of the Trinity United Church of Christ.

There is something with Obama that has bugged me since he stepped onto the scene, and I have never been able to put my finger on it. Now I know why. We were all so blinded by the fact that he is black, that we failed to see all his flaws. If somebody, God forbid, brought any of them up, that person was a racist and “not ready for change”. OK, so what change is it that Obama represents?

Is it the stuff he lists in his political agenda? Or the ideas he has been subscribing to along with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, his “spiritual mentor”, for the past 20 years? Do we listen to what Obama says today, or what he has been actively thinking for the past two decades?

Obama’s issues are mostly made up of safe Democrat ideas, well tested and tried in the homes of the middle class, and still generally applicable to one and all throughout the slices of life we all walk.

He believes we should pump more money into schools and health care. Sure, why not. I am all for that, as long as there is an actual plan on how to pay for it. He believes we should integrate illegal immigrants into the job market, but stick them at the end of the line instead, favoring Americans for each job instead. Sounds like he is creating a new sub-class of non-citizens instead, much like black people in the old days. One would think he would have learned that lesson, at least.

For somebody who was very quick to disown Reverend Wright as a “crazy old uncle”, Obama still shares some fundamental ideas with said loon:

Eliminate the disparity in sentencing between crack and cocaine.
Why? Because Obama thinks it’s racist. Why, you ask again? Because poor black people do crack and rich white people do cocaine. How about this: lay off the fucking crack, period? Maybe Obama should try to attack the problem at the very root instead of offering hindsight advice on choice of recreational drug? Oh, that’s right… One is a recreational drug for people who are mostly contributing to society in between parties, and the other one is the bane of a black community spiraling down towards utter self-annihilation. Makes perfect sense to not bother with that little detail when discussing the penalties for using and selling the two different drugs. Again, this is why people whose “greater ideologies” sour into the mix of everything they do should not be in power. It makes them lose sight of the real problem at hand, which is to get the crack (and other drugs) off the streets, period. I also think it’s time for the black community to stop crying and putting themselves in a place of “no fair!”, instead of manning up and getting their act together.

If black people continuously let their elected and self-appointed leaders, such as Reverend Wright and Al Sharpton, infantilize and victimize their own community, then they can’t ever expect the rest of the modern world to give two shits. Change starts from within. Not by crying about injustices past and treating yourself like some minority that is still to be nursed back to health. Hey, if smoking crack and waging wars on your own street corners have only gotten you so far, maybe it’s time to try something else? Like getting with the fucking program? Look at the Chinese community in America; hard working, college attending people with tons of cultural pride. Where is their Chinese Al Sharpton crying for their rights? That’s right. They don’t need one. They made their own destiny, despite social prejudice and disparities. Self fulfilling prophecies can be the blessing or the bane of your existence – your choice.


Black Civil Rights is the most important issue in America.
It is listed at the very top of Obama’s “Issues”, and is the first thing you click on at his website. It is also a main issue at his church: ”There is no task more sacred than the liberation of African People”. Sure, I also think we are all equal and all that yadda-yadda, since I am a 21st Century Man, but I also think we make our own fortunes and create our own destinies. I don’t believe in hand-outs, and I don’t believe in having a guilty conscience about stuff that happened two centuries ago. Get over it and go to work, you lazy bums. The chains broke over a hundred years ago, it’s time to join the rat race with the rest of us. Nobody gave our forefathers shit when they came here with nothing in their pockets to make a new life. You’re American, just like the rest of us. Shut the fuck up.

Then, obviously, there are some visions of Jeremiah Wright I wonder if Obama secretly shares, but would be too uncomfortable speaking out loud. Would you go the same church for 20 years, listening to the same brimstone sermons from the same spiritual mentor, unless you actually agreed with him and found truth in his words? Of course not.

Wasn’t it last Christmas Obama publicly said:

“During this holiday season and during this political season I'm continually reminded that the values that I learned at Trinity and as part of the UCC community are values that can't just stay in church but have to be applied outside of church.”

Well, here are some things that Reverend Jeremiah Wright has been preaching from the pulpit since day one of Obama’s attendance at his church. Let’s start with the UCC mission statement:

"Unashamedly Black and Unapologetically Christian. We are a congregation of African people who are true to our native land, the mother continent, the cradle of civilization.”

Africa? I thought Obama was running for President of America? I don’t give a shadow of a fuck about Africa. Let them eat cake. Again, we’re in America. And so have the last 10 generations of your people as well. That is probably a longer chain of back relations than most white people can boast today. My wife’s family is two generations American, and she would never dream of going to the mattresses for anything but good ole’ USA.

Speaking of cake and pie… A main objective for the UCC is to make sure that the pie is equally divided by one and all, no matter whom, by fighting devotedly for Economic Parity, and against “America’s mal-distribution of riches”. This, kids, is just a glorified term for communism; a not so very novel concept that works marvelously well in fairy tales and in speeches, but have proven to fail beyond salvation when applied to society, much less an established capitalist nation.

Then we have the fact that Reverend Wright constantly harps on how the white supremacy still has the boot heel on the throat of the black community. “White people run Washington, and black people in Washington run elevators”, “This is the US of KKKA” and “Minister Farrakhan will be remembered as one of the 20th and 21st century giants of the African American religious experience”.

In case you know nothing about anything, Minister Farrakhan is the guy who hates white people and supported the terrorist attacks on the US, because it served the “blue-eyed devils” and the “Jewish blood suckers” right.

Obama first denounced all the statements of Wright of late and refers to them as something an old crazy relative would randomly say at a family get together. No, don’t give me that load of shit, Obama. He has been preaching it to you, from a place of spiritual authority, for over 20 years, while you sat there clapping, nodding and stomping your feet like a firm believer, throwing your hands in the air, shouting “hallelujah”. Later, Obama took back his denouncing statements, saying that he could no more disown Reverend Wright than he could disown the Black Community as a whole. What the hell does that even mean?

What pisses me off the absolute most with this whole Wright-Obama mess, is not the ideas and concepts represented by the UCC, not at all – I could care less, but rather the disgusting fact that Obama now rejects them because they make his presidential candidacy look bad. Subsequently he has officially rejected his “spiritual mentor” and fired him from the campaign. If he would have taken these statements and turned them into sound and healthy civil rights arguments, he could have won a land slide victory on all sides of the fence, but instead he comes out looking like a cowardly disloyal sneak who still secretly harbors dreams of running a Black Separatist Communist America.

I for one do not want that poor excuse for a man running America. If he turns his back on his own people, what makes you think he won’t turn his back on you if the situation calls for it? There is apparently no point in discussing Obama’s politics since we can’t trust a single word he says anyway. The way he has been exposed in this Trinity UCC debacle has disqualified him as a leader of America, or maybe that should be “The US of KKKA”.

When looking for truth in a pattern, I will take someone’s actions of the last 20 years over a statement of yesterday any time of the week.

On a side-note, another thing that pisses me off with the Obama-Wright connection is how this is not being given the proper coverage it should have in our media. Why is this being glossed over by TV and papers? This could be our next President! It is all our duty to know everything they stand for, lest we vote like blind children. If Obama had been a white Republican he would have been tarred and feathered and sent out of Washington on a rail already.

Give me a break.

So we are stuck with a pussy man-wannabe without a plan, a backwards cowboy with society-crushing immigration politics and a lying sneak who would sell his babies for crack.

I am voting for Tony Blair.






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