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Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia

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The Three Big Scary Sixes

666… Three big scary sixes. The Number of the Beast. Supposedly. What beast? Satan? Or his pet demon sent to devour the world in the End of Days? You probably don’t know much, but still know enough to realize that there is some religious and historical significance behind the number.

Is there really?

Let’s first take a look at the one and only mention in the Bible of the three sixes in its original proper context with the arrival of the Beast:

“And that no man might buy or sell,

save he that had the mark,

or the name of the beast,

or the number of his name.

Here is wisdom.

Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast:

for it is the number of a man;

and his number [is] Six hundred threescore [and] six.”

(Book of Revelations Chapter 13, Verses 17, 18)

OK… So it is the number of a beast that will rise from the sea, later on speaking for a dragon we shall assume to be Satan himself, bringing on Armageddon in its wake. This means that it is not the number of Satan but that of his attack dog. We can also draw the conclusion from the above passage that the number is derived from the beast’s actual name, either through code or reference.

For instance, on the walls of ancient Pompeii someone wrote, "I love her whose number is 545". This is a direct clue to how we could apply the significance and application of 666 to somebody’s name. The value of the letters have to add up to 666.

Numerologists, mathematicians and historians have scratched their collective heads for centuries, dreaming up one scenario worse than another as to what the number could represent. The problem is that, just like with stats, you can lie pretty good with any number at all. Anything goes. It’s just a matter of wanting to find what you’re looking for. Just check it out…

The most popular theory about a possible satanic culprit is that if you assign to the Latin alphabet the old way of doing alphabet codes, with the numbers from 100 and on corresponding to the letters A – Z, then the sum of the numbers in “Hitler” add up to 666.

Coincidence?

The only problem is that the Latin alphabet used back when the Book of Revelations was written didn’t include the letters J, W and Z; those were added to the modern alphabet much later. So in this older version of the Roman-Latin alphabet the values of T, L and R are one point less than our modern alphabet. “Hitler” would add up to 663 instead of 666, leaving him a mere neighbor of the beast, at best, but not the very prophesized Beast of Armaggedeon himself. Sure, Hitler was bad, but apparently the Beast will be way fucking worse. Hey, don’t kill the messenger, kids.

Another theory is that the Beast could be Nero, the Roman Emperor – much hated by one and all in ancient times. By applying the classic Hebrew letter code Gematria to the Hebrew spelling of Nero Caesar, “Nrwn Qsr”, and adding up the letters, we end up with the sum of 666 as well. The only problem here is that the Book of Revelations was written in the third century and Nero was the emperor of Rome in the very first century. It’s not much of a revelation if you’re dragging up old news, now, is it? Plus, one hopes that old St. John would just have announced, “The Beast is Nero” to avoid all speculations. But, then again, we would probably be trying to decipher that beyond recognition instead.

If you play with Roman numerals, instead, it is much more interesting. First add up all the different Roman numerals (except “M” which wasn’t in use until later):

D + C + L + X + V + I = DCLXVI = 666

Good start, right?

Even better: The words inscribed on the Pope’s funny hat are Vicarius Filii Dei (“Vicar of the Son of God”). If we add up all the Roman numbers found in that title we come up with 666. Also… “Vicar” is Latin for “stand-in”, “substitute” or “instead of”, leaving us with a man who has assumed the role of self-appointed God-hood here on Earth, by replacing the Holy Son. Now class, tell me what the first commandment says? “Thou shalt have no other Gods besides Me!” I guess the Catholic Church really fucked up with that choice of words, huh? Or maybe the Pope really is the Anti-Christ and is just smiling smugly under his funny little hat?

To put another spin on this business with the Roman numerals, a classic game is to play around a little with the number DCLXVI and make it an anagram into “DIC LVX”, which is a Latin abbreviation for “dicit lux” or “The Light Speaks”. Whatever the hell that means. Yeah, you got it: Lucifer = Light-bearer, Light-bringer, The Morning Star, Prince of the Morning.

Gasp! The implications!

But we already know 666 is supposedly the name/number of the beast, so what the hell else is new here? Plus, this silliness with the Roman numerals also points the finger at Lucifer himself, rather than at the appointed Terminator he supposedly is sending to fuck with Humanity on his behalf.

So are there any other anagrams we can dig up that reveal the name of the actual Beast, using the numerals in 666? Let’s see:

LI DVCX (“L.I. Ducks” - The baseball team Long Island Ducks)

C X DVIL (“See Ex-Devil” – I always thought Scott Stevens played too fucking well to not to have sold his soul to the Devil.)

I was trying to make Maury Povich out of it, just to make sense out of something that has been bugging me for years, but, alas, to no avail.

No… This Roman numeral anagram shit is all fucking LVDICrVX (ludicrous). All the scriptures were in Hebrew and Greek in their original forms anyway, so the codes would not have been applicable to the Roman/Latin alphabet.

Back then it was always considered by the high and mighty to be a blasphemy to translate the Lord’s Word from its original language into another. In ancient Greek the numerical code for “Latienos” adds up to 666 (30 + 1 + 300 + 5 +10 + 50 + 70 + 200). What does Latienos mean anyway? The Latin Speaking Man.

In Hebrew, the same word would be “Romiti”, The Roman Man, and by using the same ancient Hebrew code as in the Nero example, Gematria, we get:

200 + 6 + 40 + 10 + 400 + 10 = 666

Does this mean that we are dooming ourselves by twisting God’s word beyond recognition, assigning superpowers where there are none, and ignoring the ones that do exist?

And, how about this? If we look at the letter corresponding to the numerical value “6” in the Hebrew alphabet we find “vav” - “v / w”. That means that “www” translates to “666”. Is the Internet the tool with which Satan will win the day? In Revelations the mark of the beast is upon the followers’ foreheads/faces and right hands. What hand is on that mouse right now? What part of your body is bathed in the soft glow of the screen? And do we buy and sell stuff on the Internet?

Hmmm… A little too farfetched. I know.

St. John is very specific about that bear foot, the dragon’s head and all sorts of grotesque accessories that will accompany the Beast, so I still think it’s a specific somebody or something.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Is it a place? Reagan’s retirement address was 666 St. Cloud’s Road (and he has six letters in all three of his names: Ronald Wilson Reagan – six six six).

Or is instead the number 666 a wider reference? It is popularly believed to be a reference to a day, rather than to a name. The day of Armageddon. The day of the Beast. So, naturally, we assume it’s 6/6/6, right? Which would be today. Has the world come crashing down around your ears yet? Because it sure as hell (no pun intended) hasn’t crashed down around mine. There have been numerous 6/6/6 dates before – one in each century in fact, so that theory doesn’t hold water. Also… Our calendar was not in use back then so all dates are thrown out the window. It is a very specific number, “666”, and can’t just be applied willy-nilly to a modern date with no relation to older measures of chronological timekeeping. However, if I was a terrorist, I wouldn’t think twice about crashing a plane into the Sears Tower in Chicago today, since dropping the zeroes out of today’s date and the Sears Tower’s zip code would give you 666 either way. But to call that Armageddon would be stretching things a bit far for anyone not directly related to such an unfortunate event. Don’t get me wrong though. I would still call in sick if I worked in the area.

No. We have to be more exact when we talk about 666 in terms of time. It could be the year 666, marking 666 years after the birth of Christ, but what would be the point? The number of the beast is 666 years after the birth of the arch enemy? So? That’s kinda gay. Two abbeys were built in that year, and Wighard was elected the Arch Bishop of Canterbury. Big whoop. Such blasphemy.

Since nobody knows exactly when Christ was born anyway, it is rather presumptuous to ascribe the three sixes to any date or time that we could foresee based on our calendar.

Back to the person, then. Or rather the “Beast” with the number of “a man”.

The key phrase in that woeful verse may be “Let him that hath understanding reckon (count) the number of the beast”.

OK, so maybe it is supposed to be a code cracked by an expert mathematician, rather than a historian? Never mind the shitty DaVinci Code. This is the Mother of all Codes - 666.

Mathematics is totally universal. A number is a number, no matter where you are in time or space. That’s why we use numbers when we send messages to the stars in hopes that some extraterrestrial intelligence will make it out against the random cosmic white noise. So it is somewhat safe to assume that 666 is a mathematical code, rather than a historical, chronological, or alphabetical code depending on cultural compatibility.

Also, interesting enough, the father of modern math and numerology was the old Greek Pythagoras, and in the old Greek Mysteries “666” represented the higher mind, the “understanding”. Rings a bell? Yes it does. “Let him who hath understanding”. Hmmm…

So… What significance does 666 hold in mathematics?

It is the sum of all the squares of the first seven prime numbers.

Doesn’t really help much. It’s just a meaningless mathematical exercise. 666 is also the sum of 600, 60 and 6 – which means about just as much.

There has to be something else.

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Here follows a tediously compiled, and utterly superfluous listing of what you can do to get to 666. (Inside tip: Skip the fucking thing unless you’re a mathematical masochist.)

666 is both a square number and a triangular number. (Fun fact for the nerds. 666 is also the only triangular number that cannot be infinitely triangulated from its base. The only number in all of mathematics. Coincidence?)

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6 is the first so called “perfect number” in mathematics, achieving its value by adding up its three positive divisors 1, 2 and 3. (Fun fact for you: A mathematical Perfect Number doesn’t include itself as a divisor.)

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666 is also the sum of the first three sixth powers: 16 + 26 + 36

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Check out this Pythagoran triplet: (216, 630, 666)

(6x6x6)² + (666 – 6x6)² = 666²

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Adding the numbers 1 – 36 also gives you the sum 666.

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The sum of the 144 first digits (a dozen dozens - classic merchant number) in the infinite number pi is 666.

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And how about this for a mathematical / historical combo then:

In ancient Babylon they worshipped the Intelligence of the Sun, depicted on special golden amulets, worn by the priests, by 6 rows of six numbers between 1 and 36. Adding up all the numbers on the amulets gave you 666, the ultimate number of the Light. The priests used these amulets to foresee the future. “Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast.” Remember? Revelations? Future predictions? No? Nevermind…

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666 can be broken down into:

6 + 6 + 6 = 18

1 + 8 = 9

9 is a magical number in most spiritual arts and belief systems because of its mathematical properties. (Anything you multiply with 9 can be transformed back into the sum of 9 by adding up the place numbers no matter how high.

For instance: 65,874 x 9 = 8,692,866 = 8 + 6 + 9 + 2 + 8 + 6 + 6 = 45 = 4 + 5 = 9)

- - - - - - - - - -

OK, kids… Back with the normal class.

So… the magically potent number 666, made up of three “perfect numbers” (made up of the three first prime numbers on top of that), made up of the squares of the first seven prime numbers, being both triangular and square as well as the sum of all the numbers between 1 and 36 (that help you look into the future) is 666.

So there is no question that the number is somewhat mathematically significant, but what the hell do we do with it? How do we assign that number to a person to get a head’s up for Armageddon?

Maybe if we take the 7 letters in the alphabet that correspond to the seven first prime numbers all adding up to 666 when squared: 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13 and 17

In ancient Greek it would be : B, G, E, E, L, N and P

In Hebrew it would be: B, G(V), H, Z, K(X), L and N

I wish I could make sense of that but I don’t speak either language. I understand there are tens of thousands of combinations of anagrams for complete words and abbreviations in both, though. Knock yourself out. I am sure you will find your much hated neighbor in there somewhere. I found my math teacher and two missing socks.

If we then take the triangular numbers for 666… No, fuck that… we can’t do that, there are just way too many and I am getting so bored I could spit.

You know what, this is fucking stupid. This is all bullshit wishful numerology, either based on historical references or mathematical investigations. The original word for “reckon” in that troublesome verse of the sixes was the Greek word “psephizo”, which was never used in any mystical riddles and never referred to calculations, but always just plainly referred to “count”. As in counting 1, 2, 3… Let’s recite together the lost verse 17.5 in the 13th chapter of Revelations:

One little, two little, three little Beasties,

four little five little six little Beasties,

six little, six little, six little Beasties – Satan’s little Beasties

In all fairness, I think it’s pretty easy. The Bible is always quick to mention exact numbers of this and that; how many brothers Abraham had, how many talents Solomon made in tributes his first year (666), how many children of Adonikam there were (666) and so on. Most of all, the Bible is very specific about the amount of people who are to be the Lord’s Host - 144,000. So why would the Bible all of a sudden require a decoder ring for the numbers of the Beast? Was John that much of a fuckhead? “Here… I am going to tell you everything that is going to happen, what the Beast looks like, how the fight will swing this way and then that way, how this and that will transpire, and exactly how many people go to Heaven afterwards. But I will NOT tell you who the Beast is. Instead I am going to give you a riddle: 666. There. Deal with it. Fuck you, too.”

The Bible points out, a little later, in Revelations 15:23, that:

And I saw as it were a sea of glass mingled with fire:

and them that had gotten the victory over the beast,

and over his image,

and over his mark,

[and] over the number of his name,

stand on the sea of glass,

having the harps of God.

The final victory is won over the number of the Beast’s name. This leads us to assume that 666 is the number of henchmen the Beast has in his Infernal Host. Maybe it’s the appointed Demons from Hell? The guys with “the mark” on their hands and foreheads? Easy as that. (And the “sea of glass”? Sounds like a desert slagged into glass by a nuke. One could always hope.)

Also… If we pull out another tiresome numerology / numbers/ Bible combo we can see that John 6:66 refers to Jesus’ disciples leaving him. So the number 666 could thus be referring to the amount of disciples here. As in Disciples of Hell! (Great song from Yngwie's "Marching Out", by the way.)

Bottom line - it doesn’t fucking matter. If you’re a believer of the Bible then the Beast shall rise most dramatically out of the sea, so who the hell cares what number he has? The seven heads and the bear’s foot will probably give him away early on anyway. If you see him, nevermind the sixes, just run for the fucking hills because that asshole means business.

And if you’re not a believer in the Apocalypse of the End of Days, then this is all a study in mass delusion anyway and has absolutely no bearing on anything in your life. Fuck the sixes.

All we have proved here is that the sum of the letters in the word SUPERSTITIOUS is 666.

No?

In ancient bullshit, it is.

Carry on.

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