Suicide is Self-Expression
by
Sebastian
I’m so fucking sick of people calling suicide weak. “It’s for cowards who are too chickenshit to confront all the challenges life provided them with” or something along those lines. The latest crap on this subject, was what I read in Linda Adam's recent DROTW article, "Death of the Anguished Soul". Even if I believed suicide was in some way a weak thing to commit – which I don’t, but I’ll get to that later – what’s so very objectionable about avoiding trouble? What benefits do you reap from endlessly fighting your way through a hard, shitty life? Exactly none whatsoever but being able to pretend that the struggle was an impressive achievement in itself, stroking your own ego by awarding yourself with abstract terms such as “pride”, “stamina” or “persistence”. But in reality, though, you’re just too stubborn to realize you’re fighting a losing battle. Because, in the end, that’s all life is, no matter what preconditions you were born into.
Linda, all those people listed in your article weren’t pussies in the first place; they were smart. Because that’s what not living is, above everything else: smart. You keep writing about "taking on challenges" and "proving stuff to yourself", but you never even mention what the point to do all that would be. Because there is none. Living for the sake of living? Big whoop.
“Can you make it back up? Can you dig down within yourself, find that teeny tiny spark of yourself that is still screaming “I’m HERE! I’m strong! I’m alive!”, and let it pull yourself back up to the surface? Can you survive whatever you’re facing and rise back up, able to look the world - and yourself - in the eye with confidence?”
Maybe I could but who cares? I could just as well dig down within myself and tell that teeny tiny spark to shut the hell up already. Tell the world to shove its challenges up its ass (while looking it in the eye with confidence if you must) and go out with style. Seems rebellious enough for my standards.
You also claim death didn’t give them the peace they sought. That they merely prolonged the agony or something. How come you hear that stuff every time some devout people try to talk down on suicide, yet you’re never given any kind of reasoning? I’m not even asking for proof, as most people in that spiritual scene have enough silly endgame theories to paint the world upside down, and inside out, and it’s always completely futile to ask for proof, anyway, when talking about anything that… well, that they could never prove in the first place. But until you show me someone’s soul in a jar, captured on its way to another body, I’m going to believe that death does indeed end your troubles with your rotting carcass in the ground.
Back to the absurd idea that suicide was weak: there’s no doubt that taking one’s own life is the bravest thing one can do. Life is the only certain thing everybody has and there’s nobody who has experienced death (no matter what you claim in your article - I won’t even try to understand what that’s supposed to mean). People might have vague concepts about what comes after they die, but for obvious reasons nobody who’s somewhat intelligent and sane would claim to know for sure. You’re willing to throw away everything you ever knew, everything providing you with any sense of security, yet people call you a pussy?
Now, I can’t speak for any of you religious fuckheads out there, but I’m going to say that if, like you assumed, “you’re an atheist” and thus “believe that life just stops when we die”, that’s just proof against your theory that it’s a weak thing to do. It might be a lax way out if you believe in karma and reincarnation or some shit like that. You merely have to be willing to put up with being a stone for a while, and if you did good enough at that, down the line, you’ll be back with your next shot at "real" life in no time. But when you realize that chances are that this is it, the one and only life, your only chance to live and exist and stuff, you can’t possibly call it a pussy’s way out. That just doesn’t make any sense. There is nothing more final and definite than ending your life if it's the only thing you have. It's the ultimate form of self-expression.
You know what people I consider to be pussies? Those who can’t accept the fact that life means nothing in the grand scheme of things, because it belittles their own precious existence if they’re not able to give it some momentary meaning in itself. People who have to embrace some ridiculous idea about afterlife, karma and reward for one’s conduct, because they can’t take the inanity and indifference of living. People who put all their trust in some outrageous idea lacking any kind of logical foundation, just to avoid any kind of finality. People who need a double bottom because they can’t cope with their shitty life actually being all they get, no matter how hard they might try. People who can’t accept the fact that life can be totally unfair and that still nobody gives a fuck.
In other words: people like you, who dream up that reincarnation-, circle of life bullshit, clinging to spirituality like any other self-important religious knuckleheads ignoring science, logic and everything in between.
You yourself say that “it’s kind of senseless to spend your one and only lifetime fighting to be or know yourself, only to put a sudden end to your existence”. So you’re basically saying that all your actions only start to make some sense if you die a normal death, as if anything you did, every moment you might have enjoyed or maybe even used to influence something out of your range, completely unrelated to your path of life would immediately lose its meaning in case you commit suicide instead of succumbing in a burning carwreck on the highway. Is all relevance of your accomplishments directly tied to your moral conduct and your form of ultimate demise? Do you really believe that? And what does willingness to be held accountable for your actions have to do with your actions whatsoever? It doesn‘t change anything that you’ve already done in any way. What kind of entity rates your life based on how and when you die? If it’s just the living, left to ponder your worthless life when you're gone, fuck it. It may change the way your actions are perceived by some morons at best, and if you give a fuck about that you hardly qualify as a rebel to begin with.
Contrary to all your claims about not taking responsibility, and that killing oneself being a pussy move and whatnot, I say it’s THE ultimate act of rebellion. No statement could be more rebellious and extreme in its consequence than taking your own life, even though more often than not it’s not even intended to be one at all. It’s the only measure to assure you’re going out as a rebel before age weakens your mind and your body to the point of being forced to conform by nature.
And if you’re so sure about your theory about learning and growing throughout an abundance of lifetimes, why don’t you try it?
I dare you.
